First off, I don't want to get all mushy or sentimental and stuff, but seriously it's been a crazy couple of months. Designs by Ashli has already been a bigger success than I ever thought it could be, and I really want to thank everyone who's been supporting me in this very short journey. My mind is officially blown...
Now, let's talk about my fears...It may seem like all of this is very premature, that these thoughts shouldn't even be running through my head...and you are right, however, I've thought about doing this for over 10 years, so these thoughts have been rolling around in my mind for a long time. My first and second project for Designs By Ashli were for a friend of a friend (who now is a very good friend of mine too). And my third, fourth, AND fifth were friends of her's, so now I'm terrified that this is it. I'm scared to my core that it's going to come to a screeching halt and I will never be offered any type of design work or receive another E-design order ever. I've never been happier, and getting up in the morning, even if it's just to finish a post for the blog, or send an e-mail about a fabric I found, is much easier. Don't get me wrong, I like my day job, but of course it's not my passion, this is, and I basically can't get enough of it. The idea that I could spend my life doing something I love, is both extremely exciting and also very terrifying. It could all end tomorrow, though and that is something that never escapes my mind. I've been very lucky to have such supportive friends get the word out, but now what? Maybe, I'm expecting too much too soon, in fact I know I am, but I still can't fight this feeling. (I sound like I'm about to break into an REO speedwagon song...but I wont).
Then, there's a whole different fear...the fear if any of it matters. The fear that I'm not going to leave any type of mark in the world. I'm not a doctor. I don't save people's lives, or help them to have a better quality of daily life. I am not a police officer. I don't spend my days protecting the innocent, or helping keep the streets safe. I'm surrounded by people who make a difference in other's lives daily, whether it's my sister-in-law who works as a nurse and/or my little sister, who is soon going to be changing children's lives as a teacher but lately, I've had this very gut wrenching feeling about what I'm going to spend my life doing and I'm terrified it's not enough...Then I get mad at myself for even thinking that...of course it's enough. Designing an environment, in which someone's going to bring their new baby home to for the first time, where they are going to learn to count and play with their brothers and sisters IS important. Helping someone turn their home from "something they can just afford" into a place their excited to come home to everyday and proud to show off to others IS important. Our environments play an important part in our daily lives, I know this, yet I question it. There is a very famous quote by Winston Churchill (it's actually printed on my business cards), "First we shape our dwellings, and then our dwellings shape us." This quote really hits home to me, because it's so true. Soothing colors help us relax, bold colors excite us. A well organized/designed home gives us confidence. Our environment plays a large part in our mental being (for anyone who doesn't know, I actually got my bachelors in psychology, so I know this is true:)) Our home is where we raise our families, where we share memories with our family/friends/pets. It is our own sanctuary, and it DOES matter. I love helping others turn their hopes and dreams of what their homes could be into something tangible, and eventually into reality.With these thoughts/fears running through my mind, I recently got a forwarded e-mail from one of my readers, who happens to be a designer as well that truly spoke to me...Here's an excerpt:
"Your work improves the lives of others. You design for the homebody and the workerbee, in addition to the aged, handicapped, and infirm. Whether you add light to a dark interior or design a beautiful and healthy working space, you make a difference in the lives of others. Through design, you create harmony in a home, which helps others feel comfortable and relaxed in their own space. You help others express who they are and who they want to be through design."
Design is important, Art is important....and we are making a difference, even if it is in a small part, to people's everyday lives. We help them come home to a place they feel safe and comfortable, a place that makes them happy. In the end, that is all that matters.
And now because a post without pictures is like eating Oreos without dipping them in peanut butter (try it it's delicious) here's some pretty eye candy...
Any other designers/artists/anything else really ever have these feelings?! Do share....
I worry constantly that my massage practice will just die. But I want to let you know that word of mouth is the best form of advertising. Almost all of my patients were referred to me by someone they know. So you keep doing the great work you do, and the business will continue to grow. I go through times when I'm not as busy as I'd like to be, and then I go through times like right now where I don't have an appointment available until mid July...
ReplyDeleteAnd I just told Makai last night when he was discouraged because he didn't get a hit in his baseball game, "You have to remember to have fun, and the rest will fall into place." :)
Hope this helps you to keep your head up.
Thanks Tiffany! You don't know how much that helps, it's always good to know you're not the only one with these thoughts. I guess every business fluctuates, and I just need to keep that in mind. I worry because I had a point where I had sooo much to do and so much going on, and now I'm kind of at a stand still. In the end, though I think the hardest part for me was just getting started, so in that sense I guess the hardest part is over :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know why that didn't post as a reply lol
ReplyDeleteI think every designer goes through both of these issues. In the design world, a lull in client work is very typical. Every business goes through busy and slow times, it's normal to worry, but eventually you'll learn it's not necessary. The busy times eventually even out the slower ones, and you'll find yourself hoping things slow down a bit every once in a while. Also, I went through the whole thought process about what we do for a living to, feeling as if it wasn't enough. Then one day I was at church and the sermon was about using your gifts to improve others' daily lives. This is something to remember, because you may not be feeding the homeless, but you are making a difference in someone's life. Also, if this doesn't help there are a lot of organizations that accepts designers as volunteers (including habitat for humanity). Hope this helps.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lacey, I love the idea of volunteering as a designer. I truly would get to use a gift to help others! Great advice, thanks so much :)
ReplyDelete